3.03.2009

And for Today's Lesson...

This is an excerpt explained from Steve Harvey's new book, "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man."


What does he need from you? A few things.


First and foremost he needs your support. He needs to feel like you have his back. Out in the real world, there are many things that can beat him down during the day. Steve Harvey just explains that we need to be understanding of this and let your man know you appreciate all he does for you (& your family). He needs to be able to walk back through the door and let his guard down.

He also needs your loyalty. “…[F]or men, love is loyalty. [They] want you to show your love to [them] by being loyal. That means that no matter what, you’re going to stand beside [them]. [They] get laid off, [they] know you’re going to stay, even if [they’re] not drawing a paycheck.” They have to know that even when they let themselves down that we won’t run away. We will be their strength and love them even more through the hard times. This also means when the “shiny, rich, fine men” walk in the room you “hold on to [their] hand a little tighter” so they know you’re theirs and they’re the only one for you.



"We need to talk."


As I’m sure you know, especially if you’re a man, when a woman says ‘we need to talk,’ it makes you want to run for cover. Women: do you like for people to point out your flaws? Doesn’t it seem like a strike at your character? Why would this be any different for men? It isn’t. Don’t worry though, I have never thought of it that way either.


Instead of saying ‘we need to talk,’ if really all you want to do is hear yourself talk, it might be a good idea to preface it with “[h]oney, look, nothing is really wrong—I just want to tell somebody something.” This will give him the chance to leave his guard down. Steve also says that we should save the emotional talks for our girlfriends. Because really, let’s face it, most of the time we are either just gossiping or stressed from our day. I’m sure our girlfriends would be more than willing to lend their ear and opinion.



I have to share an example from the book. I was cracking up when I read it!


Exhibit A:


You: "I walked into work today and before I could get to my desk, I saw Tanya walking over to the coffee machine and wouldn't you know that heiffa had on the same shirt as me?"


Your girlfriend: "You better stop it. Which one?"


You: "The blue one--you know, the one with the orange flower print? I got it from that store across town? On sale?"


Your girlfriend: "You mean the one you found on the $29.99 rack in the back? The same day I found those shoes at the store just down the street?"


You: "That's the one! I wore that shirt to work a few weeks ago and she complimented me on it and next thing I know, she ran to the store and bought my shirt and is wearing it to work! Can you believe it? Do you know how that made me feel?"


Your girlfriend: "Aw, hell to the nah. Are you serious? That's horrible. She's got some nerve..."



(Seriously that sounds like a convo me and my friends would have...about anything...not just a shirt.)



Exhibit B:


You: "I walked into work today and before I could get to my desk, I saw Tanya walking over to the coffee machine and wouldn't you know that heiffa had on the same shirt as me?"


Your man: "Really? Don't wear it anymore."



Are you seeing the simple yet?



Tomorrow is the throw-backs vs. the keepers, mama's boys, and why men cheat (that might need it's own day).



2 comments:

Uncommon Blonde said...

Sounds like a good book! I like the reminder about loyalty :)

Nicholas said...

I just read some of the reviews on Amazon about the book that you read. Ok, I’m a little puzzled. I supposed by what you wrote, you’re saying that you learned a few things from reading it. I would be interested to know the top 5 things that you learned about us, men and I’ll be more than happy to let you know if it’s right—of course, according to me. ;-)

It is no coincidence that you mention loyalty as an important value of men in a relationship. That is really nothing new for me because I see it as important in all aspect of my life. Support of a woman for a man is very important, too!

I thought that the “We need to talk,” phrase is somewhat true. We, as men, want to know that we are appreciated and admired for the “stuff” we do in the relationship. We can’t understand this importance from a woman’s perspective of making sure that we are listening, and paying attention to details. :-O I’ll listen. LOL