Throw-backs vs. Keepers
Throw-backs: no requirements, rules, respect for herself, or guidelines. This would be the party girl and men can spot them a mile away. Some women know they are putting off this vibe; others do not. Some women are too afraid to have requirements because they think that will drive men away. Some of them it will, but would you want a man like that anyways? I don’t.
Keeper: never gives in easily and the standards/requirements start the moment she opens her mouth. She knows and understands her power and uses it. She commands respect. She is in control of where the conversation leads.
"Newflash: it's not the guy who determines whether you're a[throw-back] or a keeper--it's you."
Steve Harvey says, "stop coming up with excuses, and recognize that he's a mama's boy because you let him be one. Yes, I said it: It's. Your. Fault."
Now, before you say WHAT?! let me explain what he means. He is STILL a mama's boy because she has set requirements and standards and his woman (you) have not. Setting your standards early in a relationship is important. He will either respect them or be outta there and we already decided if he's getting outta there then we don't want him. "A real man is happy and eager to live by your rules, as long as he knows what the rules are and he's sure that abiding by those rules will help keep the woman he loves happy. The only thing you have to do is establish the rules...and make sure he sticks to them."
Examples of these requirements:
1. You need to respect me.
2. You must put me and our kids after God and above all others.
3. Be clear to everyone involved in our lives that they will respect your relationship--and me.
As long as you have no requirements or standards he will probably just continue to follow his mother's. Make it clear to him that you need him to be there to protect and provide for you (& your family). "Lay it out like this, and your requirements will trump his mother's every time."
Sometimes, it's just time to leave the nest.