He is too busy to focus on me?

I swear I read that line 5 times because it hit me like a ton of bricks. "And until he's achieved his goal in those three areas (who he is, what he does, how much he makes), the man you're dating, committed to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you." Too busy to focus on me? ME? Wow.

This is quoted from Steve Harvey's new book, "Act like a Lady, Think like a Man." I'm about half way through it and have learned quite a bit. One being that it is important for a man to feel like a MAN. Besides they have only been taught that since birth. No crying when you fall down and scrap your knee, stand up for yourself (even if that means you have to throw a punch every now and again), make something of yourself, and lastly make lots and lots of money. That's a generalization, but pretty much right on target with how society defines a 'man.' So, until a man is a MAN, that's all he is focused on. Hence the too busy for me thing.

I think women are this way too, but in a different sense. Even though it's different from prior centuries, some women define their success by getting married, starting a family, and living happily ever after. My success is mostly based on the fact that I earned a bachelor degree, have a decent job, own my own house, and keep two animals alive everyday (I'm still working on plants, lol). So what comes next? Well, I would hope meeting MY *perfect* guy, getting married, having children, and so on. Getting a different better job would fit in there somewhere as well.

I guess this is why people say guys mature at a later age than girls. What that really means is they have certain things to accomplish before they are ready to settle down, focus on a woman, or make time for one. Women on the other hand define who they are partly by settling down, focusing on a man, and making time for one. See how this could be a problem?

SO..I'm reading this book and paying close attention because even though men are simple beings they are REALLY hard to understand. Well, they were until I started reading this book. However, now everything is becoming more clear.

And just as a side note, there are always exceptions to the rule and I'm not saying every single man is like this.


Sara said...

What? There is another book for us obsessive types to read? I was thrown for a loop with He's just not that into you. I don't know if I can handle all this stress...

J E S S I C A said...

LOL. I just saw that movie last week, but actually read the book a few years ago. This one by Steve Harvey, isn't quite so harsh. I have actually learned a lot and understand that other species a lot better. You should definitely check it out.

Anonymous said...

So this makes my current situation much clearer! lol! My guy is def going through those 3 things right now! Love the blog by the way!

Nicholas said...

What are you talking about we, men, are difficult? I have to admit that I thought that I read enough books and articles to make a relationship smooth sailing, but NOT! It’s been really challenging to really show my wife that I really love her. I really do! I will keep on working on it from one day to the next. But can women next time come with a manual that won’t change from day to day? … LOL

Please let me know how to deal with this challenge. I still pray to God everyday. ;-)

J E S S I C A said...

Nicholas-what can I say? We are both very different species. I have wondered what men would think of the concepts that Steve Harvey has. Is he close? lol

As far as women go, I can tell you that I like to feel important and appreciated. Love just naturally falls into those things.

Maybe we can help each other! ;o)

Nicholas said...

I will definitely let you know what I think about Steve Harvey's book. ... in my own special way!

I realize that we are different. That is just the amazing design of God and how He makes life challenging and always an adventure. I realize it’s all about communicating with one another in a way that sometimes doesn’t make sense for us naturally. I hope that you have really applied what you learned from the book to real life in your love relationship. Let me know how it all works out for you.